all eyes on me, in the center of the ring

about a year ago, i received a text from my best friend {in the midst of one of my emotional crises, no doubt} that said,

"lol you care way too much about what people think. RELAX!" 

and i saved it so that i can look back when i need to be reminded of this tendency of mine.

well...last night a received another tool of empowerment to assist me in this struggle...

this rad little kid, with his missing front teeth and awesome feather-like ponytail atop his head, became an inspiration of mine. when he and his party arrived at the game, he confidently walked up to his seat and began to enjoy, leaving the rest of the group behind as they stood and timidly configured a plan just for sitting down. he didn't need any help. he didn't want to sit and think through the effect his actions would have on everyone around him. he was just ready for the party to begin.

the phrase that comes to mind when i look at him is this:

"I DO WHAT I WANT!"

and while i think he might be just a bit more bold than most children his age, he does possess a quality that i fear has been stolen from me in my journey into adulthood.

of course as an adult this looks very different; i want to be considerate of others and i want to make good decisions for myself. i cannot simply walk through life saying, "I DO WHAT I WANT!" i think i know some people like this, and they aren't very fun to get close to.

all i'm saying is: 

if i suddenly get the urge to go to a giants game with my hair in a tiny little ponytail above my face...

{i'm going to make everyone think it's this season's latest trend}

if i want to overcome my timidity and quit thinking so much about everything...

{i'm going to simply walk straight up to my seat and let the game begin}

and if by some horrible chance my two front teeth somehow get knocked out of my mouth, well...

{i'm going to make it look like i did it on purpose}