we sip champagne when we thirstay

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i turned 25 on saturday. it was an amazing celebratory weekend. no emphasis on celebrating jordan, but a simple desire to celebrate the life i've been given.


my friends (whose blogs can and should be read here and here) came prepared with special bday questions.

question one: birthday girl asks everyone else what they were doing when they turned 25.

question two: others ask birthday girl what it has taken her 25 years to learn.

i got to hear a lot of fun stories about what my friends were doing in life when they were my age. and i got to think about some of the things i've been learning. 

what has it taken me 25 years to learn?

it has taken me 25 years to learn just how intensely i am loved.

where i am today is drastically different from where i have ever been before. today i have so much love in my heart; love that has been received and love that is ready to be given.  


i've had people comment on my over-use of the word "love" throughout my life. i love music. i love working out. i love my family. i love glitter. i love love. i love california. i love so many of my friends. i have been in love. i am in love...with coffee, beer, and baseball  :) you get the picture. anyway, i'm learning that these expressions of love don't need to be restricted. the more love you can share with the world, the better. i have always been and will forever continue to be a giver of love.


and in this last year, i have grown in my ability to be a receiver of love. i quit running from the people who have loved me most. i quit running from the One who has loved me most. and in giving up this fight, i have discovered just how deeply this love flows.

so...24...it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

and 25...i'm in love.

i wish that you would always stay

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"tonight i'll burn the lyrics, 'cause every chorus was your name"

lately i've been having some of those moments that cause me to stop, take a second, and say to myself, "this is your life." i hate to sound like one of those girls who uses her media opportunities to make her life sound like it's straight off the hills. i also hate when people try to prove to their onlookers that they have an amazing life, worthy of everyone's envy. so not what i'm going for. regardless, there are moments worth documenting, and this is my blog so...

i feel like my life is always moving so quickly. and because i am constantly on the go, i've found that i often have to consciously tell myself to be present in the moment. the way that people carry cameras with them to develop a picture of something great that they saw, i am trying to carry...a heart camera...so that i can capture the really great moments and feelings and moods that i get the pleasure of experiencing on this journey.

i'm not very good at taking pictures. well...anyone can whip out a camera and snap a photo. what i mean is, i'm not very good at taking those 20 seconds to create the memory. i tend to fly right through all of the great experiences. so...i'm going to try something new. my new mission is to take those 20 seconds to grab the camera that exists within, capture the moment, and create the memory. 

some recent additions to my emotional scrapbook:

great lyrics (see laundry room lyrics posted above)

sitting on a friend's couch, with nothing to do but enjoy the company

seeing an adorable movie in a tiny old theater and walking back to the car in the rain

getting asked out by a cute boy

...going on the date with the cute boy :)

taking on new projects

discovering and enjoying the common bonds you share with your friends

seeing the avett brothers on stage

the hospitality of others

the return of a dear friend

i'm willing to take the risk

in pursuit of rest,

i found hiding.

lying in the shade.

avoiding the light that so fully brings life.

feeble legs relieved,

sweat no longer imposing my brow.

finally! a place to sneak away.

turning cold, i miss the sun.

this is the solitude i once craved;

have i chosen my own abandonment?

stepping out of the cave, i feel lost.

i realize my trail is not mapped out.

so deluded by weeds and rocks, i see the journey will be tough.

impossible, even.

but i want to find the light.

the solitude that could not satisfy,

immediately replaced with a craving for something else.

something more.

i find the light, and journey up.

the sweat returns, my muscles quickly tire.

but i press on.

"you're almost there. it's worth it," says a passerby.

a fellow journeyman, who brings more hope than he will ever know.

and there it is.

i've reached the top.

i turn to see the view.

"take your moment," i hear myself say.

the journey up perfecting this gift.

and i quickly see that yes, 

it was completely worth it.

come here baby, hey be my baby

ocean beach. sunset after drinks at the park chalet. perfection.

i'm kind of loving the new people/things in my life these days.

more to come...