stealin' away on a sunny day

via camera obscura

i live for days like today.

via drifter and gypsy

"she left pieces of her life behind her, everywhere she went. it's easier to feel the sunlight without them, she said."

story people, brian andreas

her hair falls perfectly without her tryin'

i've recently been given a lot of disturbing information about people's preference for straight hair. i read, in an article about how we present ourselves on facebook, that when given a choice between two pics of the same person, one with curly hair and one with straight, something like 77% of people chose the pic with straight hair.

and the millionaire matchmaker {yes, i openly admit my tendency to fall victim to so many ridiculous tv shows} makes every single girl straighten her hair. apparently men want to see hair they can run their fingers through. lame.

i am a frizzy-haired brunette, who can decently pull off either look with the proper tools. but i've always preferred big texas hair. i die for the hot mess look.

via fashion gone rogue

via weheartit

via viking blood

via dress design decor

HAWT.

we sip champagne when we thirstay

via weheartit

i turned 25 on saturday. it was an amazing celebratory weekend. no emphasis on celebrating jordan, but a simple desire to celebrate the life i've been given.


my friends (whose blogs can and should be read here and here) came prepared with special bday questions.

question one: birthday girl asks everyone else what they were doing when they turned 25.

question two: others ask birthday girl what it has taken her 25 years to learn.

i got to hear a lot of fun stories about what my friends were doing in life when they were my age. and i got to think about some of the things i've been learning. 

what has it taken me 25 years to learn?

it has taken me 25 years to learn just how intensely i am loved.

where i am today is drastically different from where i have ever been before. today i have so much love in my heart; love that has been received and love that is ready to be given.  


i've had people comment on my over-use of the word "love" throughout my life. i love music. i love working out. i love my family. i love glitter. i love love. i love california. i love so many of my friends. i have been in love. i am in love...with coffee, beer, and baseball  :) you get the picture. anyway, i'm learning that these expressions of love don't need to be restricted. the more love you can share with the world, the better. i have always been and will forever continue to be a giver of love.


and in this last year, i have grown in my ability to be a receiver of love. i quit running from the people who have loved me most. i quit running from the One who has loved me most. and in giving up this fight, i have discovered just how deeply this love flows.

so...24...it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

and 25...i'm in love.

all over my rainbow

sometimes i feel frustrated because i find songs that...kind of move me. is that lame? that sounded really lame. anyway...i don't feel frustrated because of their effect on me; i feel frustrated because i don't know what to do with it. confused? me too.

i just wish i had a big empty room where i could be all by my lonesome, turn the music up way too loud, and...see what happens.

"search and destroy" by sanders bohlke {a few posts back} is one such song. here is another for you...

soon my fears will emerge

via knight cat

i'm trying to update the aesthetics of my blog a bit. it's going to take me a little longer than it would most of you because, let's be honest, i don't really know what i'm doing.

feel my kiss, now say not a word

 Search and Destroy by sanders bohlke

tonight i drank wine and kept this song on repeat. perfection.

come pick me up

via ashley moe

i spill coffee on myself everyday.

i wish that you would always stay

via weheartit

"tonight i'll burn the lyrics, 'cause every chorus was your name"

lately i've been having some of those moments that cause me to stop, take a second, and say to myself, "this is your life." i hate to sound like one of those girls who uses her media opportunities to make her life sound like it's straight off the hills. i also hate when people try to prove to their onlookers that they have an amazing life, worthy of everyone's envy. so not what i'm going for. regardless, there are moments worth documenting, and this is my blog so...

i feel like my life is always moving so quickly. and because i am constantly on the go, i've found that i often have to consciously tell myself to be present in the moment. the way that people carry cameras with them to develop a picture of something great that they saw, i am trying to carry...a heart camera...so that i can capture the really great moments and feelings and moods that i get the pleasure of experiencing on this journey.

i'm not very good at taking pictures. well...anyone can whip out a camera and snap a photo. what i mean is, i'm not very good at taking those 20 seconds to create the memory. i tend to fly right through all of the great experiences. so...i'm going to try something new. my new mission is to take those 20 seconds to grab the camera that exists within, capture the moment, and create the memory. 

some recent additions to my emotional scrapbook:

great lyrics (see laundry room lyrics posted above)

sitting on a friend's couch, with nothing to do but enjoy the company

seeing an adorable movie in a tiny old theater and walking back to the car in the rain

getting asked out by a cute boy

...going on the date with the cute boy :)

taking on new projects

discovering and enjoying the common bonds you share with your friends

seeing the avett brothers on stage

the hospitality of others

the return of a dear friend

just eat it

i just saw this on cupcakes and cashmere. it has a special place in my heart.

after the storm

warning: it is rare for this girl to go into detail on the discoveries of her heart and life (either because i'm afraid of being vulnerable or because i know that most people do not really care enough to read SO many words) but...it seems that anything less, at least for this one week, would just be faking. so here goes...

so far, this week is a powerful whirlwind of smiles and tears, excitement and sadness, daydreaming and reflection.

the last year of my life has been one of tremendous...tremendousness. i can't even really choose good or bad. it's been a year of good. it's been a year of bad. ultimately, it has served as a pivotal moment in the life of jordan.

i feel so young relating the biggest things in my life to school, but honestly, my experience in grad school has been so intimately woven into every detail of my existence these last few years. and if you know me at all on a personal level, you know that my affection for school is...limited. so without giving it too much credit, i have to say that this year has saved me. and in spite of my rebellious tendencies toward my school and my own personal version of "the man," whom i have continually tried to "stick it to," i am more fully myself than i have ever been. all of the awful things that my wretched school put me through, actually kind of set me free.

you know when you have to force a child to do something that they are DREADING, but you tell them that it simply must be done? THEN much to the child's surprise, once they have succumb to the authority's hold on them, they find...it really wasn't that bad. perhaps even, kind of fun? ugh weird. anyway, i was that child, and now i am my own nanny saying- "SEE! that tantrum you threw back there was actually completely unwarranted."

it really wasn't that bad. perhaps even, kind of...fun?

i am walking away from this entire experience with
a greater awareness of myself than i have ever known,
with a few passions that really cannot be contained by life or the limitations put on my curious heart,
with lots of new friends and life teachers who have worn down the callouses of my heart,
and with the knowledge that everyday i am chosen.
(some days i am chosen by friends and boys and employers, but every single day, i am chosen by at least One)

and that seemingly short list of returns for my investment (of time and energy and money and vulnerability) has changed my life.

i'm willing to take the risk

in pursuit of rest,

i found hiding.

lying in the shade.

avoiding the light that so fully brings life.

feeble legs relieved,

sweat no longer imposing my brow.

finally! a place to sneak away.

turning cold, i miss the sun.

this is the solitude i once craved;

have i chosen my own abandonment?

stepping out of the cave, i feel lost.

i realize my trail is not mapped out.

so deluded by weeds and rocks, i see the journey will be tough.

impossible, even.

but i want to find the light.

the solitude that could not satisfy,

immediately replaced with a craving for something else.

something more.

i find the light, and journey up.

the sweat returns, my muscles quickly tire.

but i press on.

"you're almost there. it's worth it," says a passerby.

a fellow journeyman, who brings more hope than he will ever know.

and there it is.

i've reached the top.

i turn to see the view.

"take your moment," i hear myself say.

the journey up perfecting this gift.

and i quickly see that yes, 

it was completely worth it.

you're such a backstabber

i know that i am embarrassingly behind on this, but i just watched the social network for the first time.

fascinating. currently looping it.

come here baby, hey be my baby

ocean beach. sunset after drinks at the park chalet. perfection.

i'm kind of loving the new people/things in my life these days.

more to come...

is it alright if i stay here all night, by the shoreline

      

i had kind of a perfect day on tuesday.

went to bolinas and moseyed around the beach for a while.

lots of great time to think about some things.

maybe an experience that left me thinking,

"this could potentially change me forever."

a treasured moment, without a doubt.

to sum it up (in one of those ways that probably still completely leaves you in the dark):

"love is an ocean and i'm a tiny cup"

dj put that record on

okay so let's just talk about something for a minute.

i've developed a bit of a girl crush.

this isn't the same thing i feel for adele, ingrid, or ke$ha.

those are the girls i want to be SLASH (bc that isn't an option)
be best friends with (bc that totally is).

nope. this is different.

i'm like mesmerized by dev.

i think that if i met her, i might feel butterflies or something.

anyway, the point is i obsess over this girl.

and her music.

if you've learned anything about me in our time together,

it should be that i love a good beat.

i love music that i can bump (WAY too loud) while i drive.

and her work is the perfect fix for a junkie like myself.

Dev - Booty Bounce from Little Owl Recordings on Vimeo.

[this is the edited version, which i thought would be more wholesome for the kids]

hope you enjoy. i will be rocking out to it for at least another 9 days, no doubt.

you can grow flowers from where dead used to be

as i sit under the sun

i look around and see

a wonder that i can't explain.

it's all so new to me.

beauty in the struggle,

grace in the consequence,

the flowers poking through.

light that gives life,

color that gives beauty,

and hope that will renew.

and so i choose

to hold onto

the wonder that i see.

let all else go

because i know

the wonder dwells in me.

i'm not gonna care

via lauren

honest?

i had a pretty yucky day.

i'm exhausted.

and right now i'm watching my giants blow this game against those silly dodgers.

but i did make some cookies tonight!

peanut butter/nutella gluten free cookies.

yes, i am still doing p90x {in theory} but let's talk about that another day.

and now i'm preparing for a little me-time in the hot tub.

so...to sum it all up...

let's consider this lesson learned.

and tomorrow, when i wake up,

i'd like to go back to being young and naive!

though i do have to say that

there were definitely some little rays of sunshine in the midst of my difficult day.

i am vowing to write about that in the next couple of days

bc i think it is more important than everything else.

and on a totally different {slash completely random note}

i'm seriously crossing my fingers for a funny dream tonight.

i won't mind the people when they stare

via richierichhh

"we are intrepid. we carry on."

elizabethtown

[yes, i am officially quoting a kirsten dunst movie on my blog. don't judge me.]

i don't care what happens in life: i carry on.

sometimes it all feels like too much, but (as my turbokick instructor said in class last night):

"look how far i've come."

party rock is in the house tonight

via she takes flight

"Ordinary life does not interest me.  I seek only the high moments.  I am in accord with the surrealists, searching for the marvelous.  I want to be a writer who reminds others that these moments exist."

from The Diary of Anais Nin